Tropic Thunderbastard
So here we are again, grapple fans! After a great first show in Birmingham (featuring surprise appearances from Tommy End, and a certain Mr Finn Balor who ended up having a game of musical chairs with the fans!), Progress is back in London at the Electric Ballroom! We didn't even have to wait til the start of the show before things started happening. Whilst the crowd was still filing in/getting merch/getting the beers in, Pastor William Eaver appears from the back with his 'master' Sebastian, who then proceeds to force the former Progress Champion to don a Staff shirt and work the event as ring crew! Obviously, Eaver has to comply otherwise Sebastian could end his career. What a dick! 4pm comes, and the show is on! After the customary introductions and a few gags from Jim Smallman, we get going with our first match of the day. The London Riots taking on the debuting Northern Irish team of Bonesaw and Damian Corvin, The Kings Of The North. The crowd didn't take too kindly to the new boys, kindly reminding them that they're 'from the shit part of Ireland' and also poking fun at Bonesaw's single red glove throughout the match. Rob Lynch brings out his own glove at the start, beginning the bout with a 'glove duel' before the teams go at it, with each man hitting their opponents with stereo flipping Samoan drops and senton splashes. After brawling to the outside, the four men take in turns in diving to the outside, with James Davis topping it off with a flip off the top rope! After the Riots hit a hangman senton on the inside, the Kings are able to get back into it with some impressive double teaming. Bonesaw impressed me here, the guy has a great look and is very hard hitting. Not sure about the glove though? The closing stages saw Davis go Attitude Era and nail a Stunner and Rock Bottom. Now in control, it wasn't long before they were able to hit the District Line, followed by a GBH for the win. The Kings come up short in their debut, and while I didn't think they were bad, I wasn't blown away either. Maybe I need to see them again to make my mind up. Before the second match, we got the news of a change in the Thunderbastard match later. Jim informed us that Paul Robinson was injured and they were working on a replacement. So on we went with a Natural Progression Series match, to find another semi-finalist in the Womens Title tournament. Another competitor making her Progress Chapter debut, Chakara, taking on Jinny's former personal assistant, Laura Di Matteo. Laura came out looking focused and sporting a new look, with her hair in corn-rows and a new rose tattoo on her neck. A new MMA image that I kinda liked. Chakara got into this match by qualifying at ENDVR against the now retired Pollyanna (who had been knocked out by Jinny in Round 1 but wanted another shot to get back in). Laura started off aggressively with some arm drags and it wasn't long before she hit a beautiful suicide dive to the outside (when Will Ospreay compliments your suicide dive, you know you're doing it right!). When Chakara did get back into it with some knee strikes and a hangman neckbreaker the crowd seemed very flat. While her look has improved since she wrestled Polly, she still struggles to engage a crowd I feel. Something she needs to work on, but has time on her side as she's still young. The end of this match came when Laura kicked out of a big DDT, and out of nowhere was able to lock in a submission for the tap-out. I'm liking the new direction of Di Matteo, and hopefully she can mix up her arsenal a bit to make it more legit. When Jim Smallman was about to kick off match three, he realised that there was a ready-made replacement for the Thunderbastard match right at ringside! He tells Pastor William Eaver to go get ready for the match to a big pop from the crowd. And we're onto the third bout of today, as BodyGuy Roy Johnson takes on the debuting 'Massive' Jurn Simmons from WXW. The debuting Dutchman boasts probably the longest entrance in wrestling today (I'm talking longer than Undertaker at Wrestlemania!), which consists of well over 5 minutes of him gyrating and air-guitaring on the stage! Coming off featuring in the WWE UK Title Tournament on the WWE Network, this was Johnson's first Progress appearance since then, so I was surprised to see such a split crowd. Massive Jurn took early control, dominating with shoulder charges, and slamming Roy into each corner. Even when Roy tried to get into the match, Jurn countered, including an impressive kip-up! Eventually the man from South London got back into it, nailing a couple of impressive Samoan drops. However, the big Dutchman was not to be denied, coming back with an impressive gut-wrench sitout powerbomb, and soon following it up with a huge piledriver to pick up a debut win. I struggled with this match a bit, feeling that Simmons is all about the entrance. While he isn't bad per se, I didn't really see much that made me think 'Yeah, I wanna see this guy again!' The first half main event saw tag team action as the South Pacific Power Trip take on the team of Axel Dieter Jr and Walter, Ring Kampf. And boy, this one was an absolute doozy! Still sitting on their No.1 Contendership, the Power Trip have grown into one of my favourite acts in Progress in the last few months, and I was equally as impressed with the WXW team too. Dieter Jr reminds me a lot of Cesaro, and Walter is just one of the hardest hitters out there today. After Banks and Dieter exchanged some great holds, Walter was able to take control with some huuuuge chops and boots. After more uppercuts from Axel, the Kiwis were able to come back with a nice knee smash neckbreaker combo. For all the work Cooper and Banks do in the ring, you can't discount Dahlia Black on the outside as part of their package, she really s so good at playing her part. After more double teams from RIng Kampf, Walter took a big double slam off the top rope before the 3 smaller men took turns in diving to the outside, culminating in an impressive twisting corkscrew moonsault from TK Cooper. Dahlia had seen enough after RIng Kampf had nailed a nice powerbomb uppercut combo double team, but to the shock of the crowd was nailed by a huge kick from Walter which sent her flying off the apron! A real Holy Shit moment! A frantic finishing stretch saw Cooper attacking Walter at ringside with a chair, while Banks hit a dirty kick on Dieter in the turnbuckles. Axel attempted a comeback with a White Noise but the Kiwis were able to pick up the win when Cooper grabbed the legs of Axel during a suplex attempt and Banks was able to steal the pin. The Power Trip continue to build momentum after a stellar match and I would not be surprised to see them win the Tag Shields when they eventually get their shot. The second half of the show kicked off with the 8 man Thunderbastard match. For the uninitiated, this is an 8 man match where another man enters every 2 mins (Royal Rumble style, complete with countdown clock) and eliminations can occur via pinfall, submission, or DQ. The winner is guaranteed a future Progress title shot. The first 2 men out are Mark Andrews and Marty Scurll. After a slow start, thanks to some stalling by the Villain, we get our next entrant, Trent Seven, one half of the tag team champions. After some dives to the outside from Andrews and Seven, we quickly get entrant number 3, Jack Sexsmith, one of the most popular guys to come out of the ProJo training school. He quickly takes control, hitting a neckbreaker-DDT combo. The timer hits zero and Pastor William Eaver enters as entrant number 4. Or does he?! Soon after his music hits, Sebastian interrupts and demands that he take Eaver's place, who of course has to comply. The amazing heat for Sebastian quickly turns into a huge pop for Sexsmith as he rolls him up for a quick elimination. Unfortunately Jack gets an impressive looking spinning Unprettier as revenge, before the Pastor can't take it any more and runs to the ring to attack Sebastian! What ramifications will this have?! Next in is Liverpool's Number 1, Zack Gibson who does his usual pre-match promo on the outside of the ring before falling to a Mark Andrews dive! It's not long before Nathan Cruz enters the match and the Origin start their double teams. The last entrant is Dave Mastiff, who gets a big pop and plenty of thumbs-up. Gibson and Cruz have not taken well to Mastiff's recent clowning around and 'banter' with El Ligero, and it's not long before The Origin explodes! Mastiff giving the thumbs down to Cruz and Gibson's thumbs up, before laying them out with suplexes. Scurll tried to lock in a chickenwing but fell to a quick roll up from Seven The big man Mastiff then took control of the match, including a huge suicide dive to the outside before falling to a double codebreaker from Cruz and Gibson. Trent Seven was the next to fall from a combo of moves from Andrews, including a big brainbuster and standing moonsault. Following the attack by Sebastian, Jack Sexsmith came back down to the ring and took out the Origin with a double Mr Cocko, and it wasn't long before Nathan Cruz was tapping to a Crossface to send the crowd wild. Could the underdog really do the unthinkable?! Maybe he could, after surviving a Ticket To Ride and almost making Zack tap out, but alas, one Helter Skelter later and Jack was heading to the back. So it came down to Andrews and Gibson! The Scouser quickly went to work on the Welshman's arm, and even took time out to finish his promo from earlier! After hitting a Ticket To Ride for a 2, Andrews refused to tap to the Shankly Gates. This fantastic match ended with Andrews countering a Helter Skelter into a stunner, before he hits a beautiful Shooting Star Press for the win! Mark Andrews now is guaranteed a future title match! Our main event saw Jimmy Havoc challenge WWE UK Title Tournament finalist Pete Dunne for the Progress World Title. The disrespectful champion was accompanied by Trent Seven, who showed exactly what they think of the company by dropping and treading on the belt. During Jim Smallman's introductions, Seven tried to cheap shot Havoc from behind, only for the King Of The Goths to grab the title belt and level him with it! Once the bell rang, the match started at a crazy pace, immediately spilling to the outside where it was mere seconds before they took in turns throwing each other through numerous rows of chairs. It was technically a handicap match, with Trent trying his best to take out Jimmy whenever the ref's back was turned. Havoc took control of the match with a fantastic looking suicide dive to the outside, turning it into a tornado DDT in mid-air! Pete showed his dirty side back in the ring, biting Havoc's fingers so he was unable to hit his Rainmaker. After a low blow, he hit a Pedigree for a big 2 count. Great moment! Moments later, Jimmy was able to hit the Rainmaker, but the bell was rung for the DQ when Seven broke it up. The two thirds of British Strong Style then decided to punish the longest reigning Progress Champion of all time, by bringing chairs into the ring. Havoc looked like he was in for a brutal beatdown before some familiar music played to a big pop, and out strolled Flash Morgan Webster! A man not seen in Progress in nearly a year, since being injured in his WWE Cruiserweight Classic qualifier! But we weren't finished yet! Then the opening riff of Nowhere To Hide by Crobot blared, and out came Mark Haskins to one of the biggest pops I've ever heard in Progress! Thought to be out for a long stretch with a neck injury, Haskins and Webster ran to the ring and took down Dunne and Seven while the crowd exploded. After a Sharpshooter and guillotine choke sent British Strong Style packing, Haskins got a mic and proclaimed that they were ready for war, and they are cleared to wrestle! I'm so happy to have these guys back in the fold and can't wait to see where all this is heading. So, another show in the books, and while the first few matches did pass me by a little at times (maybe hindered by so many wrestlers making their Progress or Ballroom debuts), the first half main event was excellent, as was the Thunderbastard and main event. While the aftermath was such a feel good moment, which got an incredible live reaction. Progress returns to Camden on the 26th February, for the brilliantly named Old Man Yells At Cloud. I'll be there as usual, so I'll have another review for you to peruse very soon. TopRopeElbow signing out!
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