On December 30th, Progress Wrestling presented their final show of 2016. But this was a show with a difference, something they'd never done before. Unboxing Live was a mystery show! No matches or even wrestlers announced beforehand! I was a little wary as to how this show would come across, but of course Progress pulled another stellar show out of the bag!
So after the customary introduction and chat from co-owner and ring announcer Jim Smallman, we were off! Six person tag action started us off with the South Pacific Power Trio (Travis Banks, TK Cooper and Dahlia Black) taking on former Progress tag champs FSU (Eddie Dennis and Mark Andrews) and Nixon Newell. Cooper and Dahlia are a great double act, having been trained from the Progress training school (The ProJo), and Travis Banks has been one of my favourite new wrestlers of the year. The New Zealander has so much potential. The heels played their parts well here, double teaming when they could. This was only stopped when Eddie grabbed Dahlia and threaten to kiss her, which in turn made Cooper do the same to Nixon, and Mark Andrews to Banks! Andrews and Banks did end up smooching after being dropkicked into each other which got a great pop from the crowd. After FSU and Nixon performed stereo dives to the outside, Newell was able to hit some brutal headbutts on Banks, nail Cooper with a Welsh Destroyer, before putting Dahlia down for 3 with the Shiniest Wizard. A really fun 6-person tag which everyone seemed to enjoy. Up next we had women's action, featuring Kay Lee Ray and Natural Progression Series semi-finalist Toni Storm. While Progress is in the middle of their tournament to crown their first Women's Champion, this was a non-tournament match. Kay Lee is not in the tournament due to scheduling issues but has promised she will be waiting to challenge the eventual winner. A strong start to the match saw both women bringing out plenty of counters, before Storm gained control by using plenty of offence using her posterior. After both women hit dives to the outside, Storm was able to hit a very impressive Bridging Muscle Buster. Kay Lee fought her way back into the match, but was still unable to put the Aussie away with a Gory Bomb and a top rope Swanton. The end for the Scot came when Storm was able to counter out of a guillotine submission hold into a big suplex. After following it up with multiple German suplexes and a huge piledriver she was able to get the pinfall in an impressive outing. If the rest of the Natural Progression Series is as good as this, we're in for a real treat in 2017. We move onto the third match now, though I use the term 'match' in it's loosest terms, because here comes Bodyguy Roy Johnson for his Wasteman Challenge. For the uneducated, a Wasteman Challenge sees Bodyguy come and issue an open challenge for anyone to come to the ring to either have a match, or if they're feeling particularly 'wavy', a battle rap. Answering the call today is a man not seen in Progress since Chapter 14, the retired Mad Man Manson! A big pop greeted the man, as he made his way down to the ring to the theme song to The Littlest Hobo. Manson has always been hilarious, and made me spit my drink out when he took the mic from Roy, saying 'Thankyou black man!'. So, the battle rap was on, Roy spitting lyrics and showing his brilliant charisma, referencing moments from Manson's Progress career, before leading everyone in a singalong to Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On (a reference to Manson's brilliant comedy match with Grado at Chapter 12). So now it was time for Manson to retaliate, and how do you do this? By leading a crazy lip-sync to Wham's Wake Me Up Before You Go Go! I'm still not entirely sure how this segment made sense but damn, it was hilarious! The final match before the interval saw a match for the vacant Tag Team Titles. These were held by Pete Dunne and Trent Seven (British Strong Style) but Progress management vacated them when Dunne gave one of the titles to their new stablemate, Tyler Bate, with their authorisation. At first it looked like this was going to be a straight 2 on 2 tag match between the London Riots and what was formerly known as Moustache Mountain, Bate and Seven. However another team entered the fray. Marty Scurll strode onto stage and introduced his partner (quite literally 'unboxing' him from an equipment trolley!) Zack Sabre Jr. The LDRS were back in Progress! The match started off at a good pace, with Scurll and Seven partaking in some brutal chops, but the LDRS manage to take control with some double teams. The Riots come back in with a double-team hangmans senton splash. This led to pretty much every man in the match diving to the outside to send the crowd wild. Back in the ring, there was a great multi-man submission spot which Trent broke up when he just couldn't find another spare body part to lock a hold onto! After the Riots hit the District Line, the LDRS came back strong again with Scurll locking on a Chicken Wing. They came back again locking in stereo arm-bars and chicken wings, which were broken up. This proved to be the beginning of the end for them as Zack was taken out shortly after with a piledriver and a Tombstone for Trent and Tyler to become the new Tag Team Champions. A really strong match that had everything. While I do think the Progress tag division can lack depth sometimes, they really know how to do multi man matches so well. Upon their exit, they motioned that they want title belts instead of the shields that Progress have had since the start of their tag division. Is this something we'll see in the future? It'll also be interesting to see what will happen with Tyler in Progress, after winning the WWE UK Title this past week. Will he defend it in Progress? Will he become automatic babyface now, and how will Progress manage to keep his crowd reactions on the heel side? Our first match in the second half saw Trent and Tyler's stablemate in British Strong Style, Pete Dunne, come to the ring for a Progress World Title defence. His opponent was someone I was very impressed with in the WWE Cruiserweight Classic, the Italian Fabian Aichner! Dunne has had a stellar 2017, breaking out in many UK promotions, along with making his PWG debut in the BOLA tournament. Aichner starts this out showing his agility, breaking out of Dunne's holds with multiple kip-ups. The agility of Aichner is astounding, as he hits a beautiful springboard clothesline to Pete. One thing I especially love about Dunne is his heel work, and he shows this in spades in this match, biting his opponent to get back into the match. The pace starts to quicken, especially when Fabian hit a stunning springboard frog-splash cross body to the outside which got a huge pop. The height he gets on this move is insane. Aichner continues his assault, looking like he may cause an upset after a brilliant springboard tornado DDT, following up with a sitout powerbomb for a big 2 count. Unfortunately the end was near for the Italian, as after missing a double jump moonsault, Dunne is able to hit his Drop Dead finisher to escape by the skin of his teeth still your Progress World Champion. He will face No.1 Contender Jimmy Havoc in his next defence in a couple of weeks at the Electric Ballroom. Before the main event, we had a tag team match featuring 4 talents from the Progress training school, the ProJo. Out came Sebastian with his 'servant' Pastor William Eaver. They would be facing the team of 'Sexually Frivilous, Morally Ambigious' Jack Sexsmith and cool surfer dude Chuck Mambo, the brilliantly named Sex On The Beach! If you're not up on Eaver's current angle, Sebastian has him under his control because of a real-life incident at Progress' biggest ever show in Brixton that has been turned into an angle. At the start of their No DQ match, Eaver legit knocked Seb out with a lariat. The match was called off and Sebastian stretchered out after a lengthy (and scary) few minutes being worked on by paramedics. Eaver now has to do Sebastian's bidding or he will contact his lawyers, inform them of what happened and end his career. This match started off with Eaver and Mambo starting off but instead of fighting, they taunted Seb, being team-mates in occasional tag team Sweet Jesus. After getting into the match, Sebastian soon found himself the victim of a bare-arsed stinkface from Sexsmith which sent him to the outside. When he arose, he had a curious brown substance all over his face! Yep, they really went there! Gross! After Mambo hit Sebastian with a somersault to the outside (which I had to move out of the way from myself!), Eaver came into the match and was forced by his 'master' to hit his friend Mambo with 2 hard lariats to take the win. Probably the weakest match on the card but the Eaver/Sebastian angle continues to build and I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes next. And so onto the main event. The place went crazy as the opening notes of I Hope You Suffer echoed round the Ballroom, and down came Jimmy Havoc. And who would he be facing? None other than The Aerial Assassin Will Ospreay! Yep, arguably the feud that made Progress explode in popularity around the wrestling world was about to be reignited! From the second Ospreay came through the curtain you could see the intensity in everything from his facial expressions to the way he moved. The crowd picked up on this and a lot of them seemingly turned on him, booing his every move, the roles reversed from their famous feud a few years ago. The match kicked off ferociously, with the action spilling outside early and Will driving Havoc viciously through an entire section of chairs! It was even more obvious that this was a more determined Ospreay when he focused in on Jimmy's knee that was injured in late 2015 and kept him out of action for the majority of the next year. It was so interesting to see a match we'd seen so many times in Progress before but with the opposite dynamic of Havoc being cheered. Jimmy then showed his resiliance by popping straight up from a brutal Destroyer, and after Ospreay put him down with a draping DDT, Havoc was soon able to take him down with a Burning Hammer! These 2 were not holding back and the crowd were rabid! The end came when Havoc was somehow able to survive the Os-Cutter, and hit his Acid Rainmaker to bring one of the most intense matches in Progress in a long time to a close. After a standing ovation, Havoc then took the mic and praised Will, offering him a chance to team up so they could try and take down the team running roughshod over Progress, British Strong Style. However, Will shockingly turned down this offer by nailing Havoc with a low blow! With the crowd in shock, he then proceeded to beat Havoc all the way up to the stage, where a familiar face came through the curtain, clutching a barbed wire bat. Ospreay's former tag team partner, Paul Robinson! The now seemingly reunited Swords Of Essex proceeded to drag Havoc back to the ring and deliver a brutal beatdown with the bat. What does this mean for Progress? Why has Ospreay turned his back on the fans that adored him so much? I for one cannot wait to see what happens! So a shocking end to one of the most fun shows Progress has ever put on. While there was nothing that blew my mind, there was good storyline progression, everything was enjoyable and the surprise factor of not knowing who was coming out next made this one of the best crowds of the year. So many great pops for the entrance themes! And I loved the ending, leaving Progress 2016 on a real cliffhanger. The Swords Of Essex are back, and this time they're dangerous! Here's to an amazing 2017! See you at the Electric Ballroom!
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