November 19th saw the return of Attack Pro Wrestling to Cardiff, outside of one of its Thursday Night Throws shows, for 'SRVRSRSLY (this time it's really not a PPV tie in). Although not hosted in the usual Cardiff Walkabout home that most tie in shows to a bigger American company hold, the show itself was put on in perhaps my favourite venue of all of wrestling, the Cathays Bingo Hall!
What was unexpected for this show, as unlike most Attack shows, we were given a surprise pre-show match, featuring a man who had appeared on several of the first Attack shows, and an up and coming Australian female, looking to make a name for herself on the British scene. Dark match: Jeff Ramsey vs Charli Evans Whoever thought the taller Ramsey would've had the edge over Evans could not have been more wrong. Although he took the early advantage, Evans managed to overcome all of Jeff's offence to beat him for the three. The match itself served as a great warmup for the crowd in attendance (and online as this whole was being streamed live through the Attack Pro Wrestling Facebook) and I hope we get to see more of both Jeff Ramsey and Charli Evans in an Attack Pro ring. Match 1: Kyle Fletcher vs Dick Riley Former Attack Pro tag team champion Kyle Fletcher vs former 24/7 champion Dick Riley was all action from the beginning through to the end. Although Riley held the Attack Pro 24/7 title once, this was his first official Attack Pro match. Of course in typical Attack Pro style, there was a lot of hilarity between the two showing compassion for each other, leading to some 'Kyle loves Dick' chants, before both men gave each other all they had, using every move in their arsenal to try and keep the opponent down. Eventually, Dick couldn't kick out of Fletcher's pin leading to a victory for the Aussie Open member. Match 2: 6 Man Scramble! El Phantasmo vs Jack Sexsmith vs Danny Jones vs Elijah vs Drew Parker vs The Love Making Demon. Now this one was mental! From Sexsmith and Demon seemingly becoming the new best of friends in the early opening of the match, to E-L-P performing an old school like manoeuvre, walking along the top rope, kicking opponents off the apron as they tried to knock him down. All six of these men left it all in the ring, but it was what happened at the end of the match that was the real shock. Dragon Pro's Bishop (who has made regularly appearances at Thursday Night Throws) pulled the official out of the ring, before Elijah took down El Phantasmo. Elijah then motioned to his long time rival Parker to get the pin, before all three seemed to join forces in the middle of the ring, leaving the fans shocked at what just happened. Match 3: Kid Lykos vs 'Flash' Morgan Webster - Attack Pro Championship Match! In recent times since Winterslam 2, Chris Brookes seems to have turned over a new leaf, becoming more 'wholesome' in his own words. That doesn't seem to be the same for his CCK tag team partner, who resorted to every dirty underhand trick he could think of to try and win this match. Webster countered all of Lykos' offence however, including the wolf's signature 'BRAAAAAAINBUUUUSTAAAAH' which is still a shock to see him hit in an Attack Pro ring! Eventually, Lykos tapped to Flash's 'Strangler' submission hold, leaving the Modfather as your Attack Pro champion. Match 4: Eddie Dennis vs Mark Davis BIG. LADS. WRESTLING. That is all I have to say. But this one was an absolute storm. Mark Davis hit Eddie Dennis. Eddie Dennis hit Mark Davis back harder. The strikes and blows could be heard throughout the bingo hall as both men went in on each other. At a certain point in the match, Davis hit an Arabian (or should that be Australian) Press to the outside to take down Eddie, however this was still not enough, as the match concluded with the 'Pride of Wales hitting his patented 'Next Stop Driver' for the victory! Match 5: Bowlarama vs The Anti Fun Police One half of the brothers of Obstruction, Jim, and Los Federales Santos Jr were the representatives of the AFP for this match, up against the Bowling Son and Bowling Daddy, Splits McPins and Lloyd Katt. The hatred these two teams have for each other clearly showed as neither team held anything back. Eventually, Bowlarama succumbed to the AFP, leaving the Anti Fun Police, once again, as the strongest force in Attack Pro Wrestling. Also, during the show, Shay Purser, Attack's rogue referee spouted his usual hatred of the Attack Pro fans, along with bragging about putting referee Chris Roberts through a table at Wednesday Night Wristlocks, before Roberts himself came out to the ring. Over social media, Attack had confirmed that Roberts had stepped down from being a referee for them... BUT HE HAD NOW SIGNED AS A WRESTLER. Roberts challenged Shay to a match at the December event 'Under The Mistletour', where the loser will leave Attack Pro for good! I know the majority of the Attack Pack would be glad to see the back of Purser, however, personally, I love a good villain and Shay seems to be the baddest of them. Main Event: Chief Deputy Damian Dunne vs Travis Banks Dunne vs Banks has been a match in the making since Banks turned on the other at Winterslam 2, for the sake of FUN! Even though Dunne was already in the ring, the familiar sounds of the AFP sirens hit, before a record scratch, and the beginning of Rappers Delight blared, leading the crowd to go wild as Travis Banks was back! Green mesh shirt and hip rotation a plenty, Banks declared himself Attack's 'Anti-Anti-Fun Police'. This match was nothing but FUN as Banks took down Dunne before asking the crowd if they wanted to see 'something sexy' before thrusting his hips once again going into moves! Dunne and Banks animosity was at an all time high, as both threw everything they had into this match, but once again the numbers game of the Anti Fun Police lead to the Chief Deputy's victory. However, this feud clearly doesn't end here, as straight after the loss, Banks challenged Dunne to a 'SNOW HOLDS BARRED' match at 'Under The Mistletour'! Leading into Attack's three show week of Festive Night Throws and the two nights of Under the Mistletour, everything seems to be raring in high gear! We have a new villainous stable, somebodies going forever, and Travis and Damian's anger at each other, plus weapons, is a recipe for brutality! Tickets for Festive Night Throws and Mistletour Night One in Cardiff are still on sale but going quickly, so snap them up while you can go see where this all leads.
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What seems to be a monthly tradition of sorts now are the shows that Attack Pro run alongside the Dragon Pro Wrestling Academy called Thursday Night Throws. But this wasn't a Thursday. No, this was the first ever Wednesday Night Wristlocks! With an unannounced card anything could happen and anybody could face anybody, leading to a wild and exciting evening of wrestling and, well, a few wrist locks.
Before the first match, to many people's shock, current WWE UK champion Pete Dunne came out to thank everyone for supporting Attack Pro Wrestling over the years before Shay Purser came out as 'Triple SHHHay' and interrupted the other. After what seemed like the two finally making peace, Dunne low blowed everyone's least favourite referee before laying him out with Triple H's signature pedigree. Opening bout: Brendan White vs The Wild Boar The head coach of the Dragon Pro Academy vs the Suplex Slinger, 'Bronco' Brendan White was a very strong start to the evenings events. With both men resorting to using all of their power to throw each other around the ring, and Boar resorting to throwing Brendan through rows of chairs, at one point 'Bronco's' body hitting the walls match was all out from the get go. A ladder got introduced midway into the match and Brendan ended up throwing the Dragon Pro coach into its bottom steps. This didn't keep Boar down however as he later managed to pin the up and comer with his patented Trapper Keeper for the three count. This won't be the last time these two are in the ring with a ladder as both will be in a four person ladder match for the All Wales Championship Number One Contenderhip along with two other competitors, Danny Jones and Beano on December 3rd at Dragon Pro's 'Ultraviolet'. Match 2: Aussie Open (Kyle Fletcher and Mark Davis) vs ELIJAH and Bishop After a strong showing but eventual loss at the last Thursday Night Throws show, Bishop was back teaming with a man currently tearing up Attack in ELIJAH. The former Attack Pro Tag champs Aussie Open didn't seem to be missing a beat however since losing their belts with both Fletcher and Davis going all out to try and beat the other team. The advantage changed hands between both teams constantly during this match, but the cohesion of Aussie Open seemed to be what worked to their advantage as after a Dunkzilla pull up piledriver to ELIJAH, both he and Fletcher pinned Bishop after a move they have dubbed the 'Fidget Spinner'. Pre this match, Mark Davis also high fived Shay Purser so hard he retreated from the ring and began to referee the match from the corner of the room - which proves Dunkzilla's high five is still the most lethal in wrestling. Match 3: Federales Santos Jr vs Travis Banks The return of the Kiwi Buzzsaw to Attack was met with nothing short of a heroes welcome. The turncoat of the Anti Fun Police seems to have distanced himself completely from his former officers even entering with his New Zealand flag bandana draped over his face. This match was at one hundred from beginning to end, with Banks using his signature Kiwi strong style offence to knock Santos down multiple times. What may need to be seen to be believed is Santos Jr recuperated enough to deliver a Destroyer off of the top rope to Banks, which still didn't keep the other down. Eventually, it took interference from Chief Deputy Damian Dunne to allow Santos Jr to hit his finisher and pin Banks. Match 4: 10 Man Tag Team Action! Beano, JJ, Fraser Thomas, Oliver Sudden & Flash Morgan Webster vs CCK (Chris Brookes and Kid Lykos) Bowlarama (Splits Mcpins and Lloyd Katt) and Cal Adams. This was mental from the start, with familiar faces from the Attack roster, the return of Kid Lykos in ring, the debuts of new faces (including Fraser Thomas, featured on Morgan Webster's 'Wrestling Friends') and the Attack Pro Champion himself Flash Morgan Webster. The action was hectic throughout, at one point with members from both teams being dived on by the opposition! Eventually however, after leading his teammates to believe his shoulder had once again been injured, behind the referees back, Kid Lykos low blowed Flash and hit him with his signature 'BRAINBUSTAAAAH!' for the three! I personally want to know where this leads, as now Lykos has a pinfall over the Attack Pro champion, does this make him the new Number One contender? Only time will tell! Match 5: Josh Holly vs Jeff Ramsey In what was a quick but still great match, both men pulled out a few tricks to try and get the pin on the other. Holly seemed to have the upper hand throughout most of the match, but after Ramsey caught his attempt at a code breaker the momentum changed. After hitting a powerful move Ramsey rolled up Holly with a unique cradle pin for the three count. Main event: Chief Deputy Dunne w/Santos Jr vs Danny Jones The former Attack Pro champion vs the former All Wales champion was all action from the start to the end. Both competitors pulled out all the stops, going for their usual signature manoeuvres and a few new ones, Jones even at one point attempting to piledrive Dunne on the apron! The crowd were firmly behind Danny 'All Japanny' Jones in this one, but after some brief interference and a megaphone shot to the head (much like what happened earlier to Banks), Dunne hit the 'Funs Over' top rope DDT, and pinned Dragonheart. The Anti Fun Police weren't done there however, as alongside rogue referee Shay Purser, they continued to beat down Danny Jones post match, until Travis Banks came out to save him. However, the three on two numbers game still lead to the AFP with the advantage, until... CHRIS ROBERTS, Attack's other referee came to help... and got put through a table with a Shield like Triple Powerbomb by Dunne, Santos and Shay. With Attacks next show being SRVRSRSLY on the 19th, a lot of questions have yet to be answered. Will Roberts get revenge? Is Lykos number one contender? Will we see Banks and Dunne fight it out? And as for Dragon Pro: Who will be Number One contender for the All Wales Championship? Who will be All Wales Champion, Mark Andrews or Jimmy Havoc? Find out live and in person at The Neon on December 3rd in Newport. Bristol's Trinity Centre played host to the latest ATTACK! Pro Wrestling event, The Neon Wristlock, on Sunday, July 16th. This show was an early start, which was awesome because it didn't mean a mad rush to get home later in the evening. Although, it did feel a tad strange leaving the venue while it was still light outside after the show. Anyway, we're here to talk about some wrestling.
Once again, ATTACK! Pro Wrestling sold out an event without a single match being announced. I make that five times that this scenario has occurred this year now, so kudos to ATTACK! for pulling that off again! They've certainly worked out a formula for that part of their success. What made this show extra special was the number of debut's and surprises. What debut's and surprises were they? Well, dear reader, allow me to indulge you for the next few minutes. Moustache Mountain vs. The Anti-Fun Police (Sergeant Banks & Los Federales Santos Jr.) Okay, this wasn't one of those surprises, but it was still cool to see Tyler and Trent at this show in all of their fun loving glory. Sgt. Banks also seemed to be having a bit of fun when he cracked an uncontrollable grin at Santos Jr's line of "No fun, nada" when both teams came face-to-face before the match started. I'm sure Chief Deputy Dunne has that smile noted down and will be keeping a close eye on Travis and any fun he may be having. Travis almost cracked again when Trent seemed to pass wind. I believe Trent's wind was travelling north because with the heat in Bristol, a southerly wind would've caused a swarm of flies to descend upon the Trinity Centre. If that wind was travelling south, I'd feel extremely sorry for those fans sat in the front row! Moustache Mountain picked up the win here. After some 'stache-nanigans', Trent hit Travis with a huge piledriver which Bate followed up with a Tyler Driver '97 to put Banks down for the three count. Is this one over between Moustache Mountain and The Anti-Fun Police? Or will those opposed to fun seek out retribution after two consecutive losses to the two WWE Superstars? I'm sure we'll find out soon enough! Winners - Moustache Mountain Charlie Sterling vs. EC-Drew vs. Elijah vs. Jack Sexsmith vs. Omari vs. Ryan Smile So this one featured a surprise debut, and that was the man known as Jack Sexsmith. I think the majority of the audience in Bristol lost their minds when Jack entered the Trinity Centre. It was awesome to see 'The Pansexual Phenomenon' in ATTACK! and it was even more incredible to see the reaction he got. Jack is one of those wrestlers who has you captivated from the moment he steps through the curtain. A trait that not enough wrestlers possess. After all of the flips and frolics of this contest were done, it was the 'All Day Star', Ryan Smile who walked out with the victory as he continues to build momentum in the singles ranks. His Frog Splash from one side of the ring to the other connected perfectly with EC-Drew (wrestling as Drew Awesome). Winner - Ryan Smile ATTACK! Pro Wrestling 24/7 Champion Pete Dunne vs. Will Ospreay Yes ladies and gentlemen, for those of you who haven't yet caught up with the show and are unaware of the matches, we had World Wrestling Entertainment vs. Ring of Honor here. Two of the brightest young stars in the wrestling world fought it out for the ATTACK! Pro Wrestling 24/7 title in an old, converted church in Bristol. Seriously, what is life? This was a highly competitive contest which was an absolute work of art. If you were to compile a list of the best pure wrestling matches in ATTACK! for 2017, this one would have to be near the top of that list. That's in spite of the 'Shay-nanigans' during this match. A fine example of that would be when Purser decided to put a sledgehammer to the face of Ospreay thinking he was doing Dunne a favour. Dune had to quickly snatch Triple H's weapon of choice away from The Rogue Ref before he could cause any further damage. Unfortunately for the debuting former ROH World Television Champion, this wasn't his night as he was forced to submit to Pete's Kimura Lock. There was a great show of respect between the two men after the match which is always great to see. I do wonder who, if anyone, can take the ATTACK! Pro Wresting 24/7 Championship away from 'The Bruiserweight'. Winner and still ATTACK! Pro Wrestling 24/7 Champion - Pete Dunne ATTACK! Pro Wrestling Tag Team Champions #CCK vs. Kyle Fletcher and Mark Davis Fresh off of their victory at 'Fun The Police', the Australian duo of Kyle Fletcher and Mark Davis were given an opportunity to wrestle arguably the hottest tag team in the UK right now for the ATTACK! Pro Wrestling Tag Team Titles. It wasn't the first time these two teams had met during that week, though. A few days prior, #CCK defended their Combat Zone Wrestling Tag Team Championships against Davis and Fletcher at a Lucha Forever event in Birmingham. I cannot offer a comment on that match in Birmingham as I'm yet to see it but this contest in Bristol was absolutely incredible. This was a perfect example of why fans have offered such high praise for both Mark and Kyle in recent weeks, whether that be as a tag team or as singles wrestlers. Both have fantastic upsides to their game and if any promoters are reading this, I highly recommend looking to book both men on an event that you're running! #CCK were at their absolute best here as well and I feel that the only difference between these teams here was the result as they matched each other hold-for-hold and blow-for-blow. That was up until Mark Davis pulled Lykos up by his ankles and drilled him with a piledriver before Kyle spiked him with a twisting brainbuster. But it wasn't quite over as Mark nailed Lykos with yet another piledriver to pin Lykos for a three count meaning that #CCK's three month title reign was over! Give #CCK their due, they did re-enter the ring to shake the hands of their opponents in a fantastic show of respect after the match. You do feel, and hope, that this has rematch written all over it. Winners and new ATTACK! Pro Wrestling Tag Team Champions - Kyle Fletcher and Mark Davis Extra Talent-Ed vs Bird & Boar Another tag team contest on this show, but seriously, who cares? The standard of the wrestling has been awesome. Extra Talent-Ed were making their second appearance for ATTACK! after their Tag Team Title opportunity in Cheltenham nine days prior. This was my first time seeing them live so that was pretty cool. My friend, Craig Gilbert, passed comment comparing Aaron Solow to Essa Rios which had a few of us laughing. To be fair, the resemblance is nigh on uncanny! Unfortunately for Solow and Ricky Starks, they were once again on the losing side due to some rather questionable tactics from Bird and Boar. Boar pulled referee Shay Purser from the ring when it looked as though Bird was going to be pinned for a three count. Ricky Starks went after Boar and amidst the chaos, Bird nailed Solow with a boot to the groin (or somewhere very close to the groin) to take control. A few seconds later it was all over as Bird and Boar hit Mrs Patterson's Revenge onto the prone, and I'm sure very sore, Aaron Solow to pick up the win. Winners - Bird & Boar ATTACK! Pro Wrestling Title - Chief Deputy Dunne vs Flash Morgan Webster After months of going back and forth with the ATTACK! Pro Wrestling Champion, 'The Modfather' finally had his opportunity to face Mr. Anti-Fun himself in a one-on-one contest with the ATTACK! Pro Wrestling Title on the line. ATTACK! Pro Wrestling returned to Cheltenham's Frog & Fiddle on Friday 7th July for an event entitled 'Fun The Police'. In keeping with their recent trend, ATTACK! hadn't advertised a single match for this card prior to the event. However, what was advertised on the banner which was all over social media, was the group known all across the world as British Strong Style. Yes, you read that correctly, Trent Seven, Pete Dunne and Tyler Bate all appeared on this show. But who would they face? That's something you'll have to find out a little later on as up first we had some two-on-two tag team action!
Bowl-A-Rama vs. Kyle Fletcher & Mark Davis Well, that was me sold for this show already. Bowl-A-Rama, the most popular tag team in ATTACK! taking on two guys who I've become rather fond of over the past few months since they came to the United Kingdom. As an opener, this certainly didn't disappoint as both teams left it all in the ring, taking some of each others best shots and still coming back for more. As a fan, what more could you ask for than that? An example of the shots that were handed out was when Lloyd Katt got busted open the hard way after a series of dives from each wrestler involved in the match. I'm not sure exactly which one cut Fat Cat open, but it certainly looked nasty! In typical Bowl-A-Rama fashion, Katt battled on until the end of the match when Splits McPins was on the receiving end of a rather impressive Mark Davis piledriver. With a huge win under their belts, the Australian duo has built some huge momentum in the tag team division. Winners - Mark Davis & Kyle Fletcher Omari vs. Sergeant. Banks (w/ Los Federales Santos Jr.) OK, so now this is getting to be pretty awesome! Omari, in an ATTACK! Pro Wrestling ring against Sgt. Travis Banks. For those of you not familiar with Omari, he's a graduate of the Fight Club: PRO Academy. He's well over 6' tall, yet moves around the ring like he's a Junior Heavyweight. Omari is certainly a wrestler to look out for over the next few years. As I'm sure you can imagine, Sgt. Banks looked to gain any advantage he could to negate the size difference between himself and 'The Big O'. What you have to be aware of as a competitor wrestling against any member of the Anti-Fun Police, at least one other member will be lurking around on the outside. After Omari's early flurry of offence, Banks took control with Santos Jr. causing a distraction and then soon after, assisting the Sergeant in chokeslamming his much larger opponent - a moment which both impressed me and made me laugh at the same time! Sorry, Trav. That was fun! Later, it was the numbers game that proved to be decisive in this contest. With Shay Purser assisting a fallen Santos Jr. from the ring, Sgt. Banks went downstairs with a low blow to his much larger opponent. Omari soon kicked out of a Kiwi Crusher but wasn't able to escape Banks' Lion's Clutch moments later and was forced to submit. This was a great outing for 'The Big O', but Travis' experience was what won him this contest. Winner - Sergeant Banks Extra Talent-Ed vs. ATTACK! Pro Wrestling Tag Team Champions #CCK The ATTACK! comedy was off from the start here as Extra Talent-Ed wanted a debut title opportunity. Ricky Starks requested the title match, however Chris Brookes pointed out that Starks and Aaron Solow had nothing to offer in the way of championships in return. Solow offered to ask his wife-to-be (WWE Superstar Bayley) to put in a good word for them both to be entered into the upcoming WWE Mae Young Classic tournament. After a brief discussion, #CCK accepted the terms and the ATTACK! Pro Wrestling Tag Team Titles were put on the line! This was a damn good match with both teams using some "sick fucking tag moves" throughout. However, for all of their endeavour, the team of Extra Talent-Ed were not successful in becoming the ATTACK! Pro Wrestling Tag Team Champions. With Solow looking to fly off of the top rope onto a prone Mondai Lykos, Chris Brookes entered the fray with the #CCK baking tray which sent Aaron crashing to the floor. This opened the door for #CCK and soon after, Lykos won the match for his team when he levelled Ricky Starks with a Brainbuster which almost caused Shay Purser to jump out of his trousers! Winners and still ATTACK! Pro Wrestling Tag Team Champions - #CCK Elijah vs. Wild Boar Now this is one of the reasons why I love this current direction that ATTACK! is going with when they don't announce matches prior to the show. I wasn't in Cheltenham for this show but when Boar's music hit, I popped knowing that I'd be seeing two of the most intense and talented wrestlers on the ATTACK! roster facing off against one another. Elijah will be kicking himself after this match because there were too many occasions where the fans getting on his back distracted him from picking up a potential victory. There was also the sheer determination of The Wild Boar that had a hand in Elijah not picking up a much needed win here. Elijah was in control for a large enough portion of this contest, but ended up on the receiving end of the Trapper Keeper, Boar's Package Piledriver, which signalled the end for the passionate one in this contest. Winner - Wild Boar British Strong Style vs The Anti-Fun Police (Chief Deputy Dunne & The Brothers of Obstruction) Well, it's main event time folks and my first disappointment of the year from ATTACK! and that was the fact that British Strong Style didn't come out to Jack White's 'Love is Blindness'. Don't get me wrong, 'Sledgehammer' is a fantastic British pop track, but I do miss not hearing Jack White's voice over a sound system whenever British Strong Style enter an arena...or pub in this case! Still, if that's my one and only disappointment for ATTACK! this year, they must be doing a lot of things right! A lesser disappointment was when Pete Dunne didn't bite the head off of that pigeon which seems to keep appearing at shows. As soon as he wrapped his teeth around that thing I started marking out. Shame, really. I've never been a fan of those pesky things! All of that disappointment was soon forgotten about though when British Strong Style picked up the win. There were two reasons for that disappointment shifting from my memory: - Reason 1: After the victory was confirmed, the music that was played was the theme song from the 90's kids show 'Fun House'! Remember that show? I'm sure most of the men reading this who do will certainly remember the twins! - Reason 2: British Strong Style hit a triple Pedigree to Shay after the match. I'm sure that moment sent the fans home more than happy! Winners - British Strong Style Thus ends another ATTACK! Pro Wrestling event. Safe to say that, once again, this was a damn good wrestling show. I can live with the two previously mentioned disappointments after seeing Shay getting dropped on his head with a BSS Pedigree. As ugly as it looked, it was still a thing of beauty! ATTACK! didn't hang around for their next event as they returned to Trinity Centre in Bristol on Sunday 16th July for the event 'The Neon Wristlock'. The review for that event will be coming over the next few days so make sure you stay tuned to BritWres Review's social media outlets for that. Another good ol' BritWres away day. These have become more and more frequent for me this year but I'm generally finding that these shows mean a heck of a lot more to me. Especially this one because not only was the show absolutely brilliant, but the friends I went with helped to make that day as great as it was.
After finishing work at 1200hrs, I got home, grabbed a bite to eat and a quick shower before meeting up with my mates Tom, Henry and Craig. We set off for Cardiff, speculating how this show would work after what happened at the end of Soundtrack to a Head Drop where Los Federales Santos Jr. destroyed the Press Start console. It certainly made for an interesting car journey in amongst the pop-punk playlist which Craig had on as well as talking about all other things wrestling. We met with our friends Rikki and Tyley at the Woodville pub, just down the road from Cathays Community Centre, and after a bite to eat and moving the cars (which were in a time restricted parking area) we headed into the venue to wait for the show. Granted, we got inside about an hour or so before the doors were due to open so amused ourselves with conversation and after a while an apparent game of "Quidditch". I can neither confirm, nor deny, if this was indeed Quidditch. All I know is that somebody found a hollow plastic ball and two pool table triangles and we attempted to throw said ball through the triangles. The doors opened at 1900hrs and in we went to find a seat. How the show would be started to make a small amount of sense with the ATTACK! staff wearing their t-shirts backwards, someone laying across one of the top turnbuckles, somebody walking against a ring post and Justin Sysum apparently thinking that he was a part of some sort of Call of Duty style video game as he was running around as if he were holding a gun. And while all of this is going on, some of the chairs were either stacked on top of others or facing the wrong way along with the 8-bit Christmas songs that were playing over the sound system. And people wonder why I'm always urging wrestling fans to check out ATTACK! Pro Wrestling? The show started on time and out came Jaida Roberts to welcome us all to ATTACK! Pro Wrestling Press Start 5 and introduced our first match which was for the ATTACK! Pro Wrestling tag team championships. ATTACK! Pro Wrestling Tag Team Champions #CCK (Chris Brookes & Mondai Lykos) vs Bowl-A-Rama (Splits McPins and Lloyd Katt) The challengers were out first in all of their bowling glory for this rematch from My Sacrifice, soon followed by the champions. Something seemed a bit off but the only thing I could think was that Lykos wasn't wearing his Power Rangers esque attire. I'm pretty sure everything else was totally normal and this match was the perfect way to kick off Press Start 5 with both teams hitting their usual spots but the biggest shock of all was Mondai Lykos hitting not one but TWO brainbusters! Yes, you read that right, the man who's hit as many brainbusters as Ric Flair has scored with top rope moves hit two in this match! The second of which won the match for #CCK meaning they retained their ATTACK! Pro Wrestling Tag Team Championships. Winners via pinfall - #CCK (Chris Brookes and Mondai Lykos) SabDrew vs SandDrew vs The Drew Meanie vs Sting (WCW Drew) OK, now things were totally and utterly normal, right? Three ECW originals and the WCW legend Sting battling it out in an ATTACK! Pro Wrestling ring. As I'm sure you can imagine there were lots of chair shots, lots of splashes and carnage all over the Cathays Bingo Hall (or as I like to call it, the ATTACK! Arena). This was a fun match which didn't last too long. It all ended after The Drew Meanie and SandDrew started a rendition of "Oops Upside Your Head" which SabDrew joined in with. The crowd urged WCW Drew to join in as well, however instead locked all three men into a Scorpion Death Lock to pick up the win. Winner via submission - WCW Drew ATTACK! Pro Wrestling 24/7 Championship - Pete Dunne vs Tyler Bate Prior to this match starting, Jaida Roberts announced that the ATTACK! Pro Wrestling 24/7 Championship did indeed change hands at NXT TakeOver: Chicago as Paul Levesque is an ATTACK! Pro Wrestling official. Probably the weirdest thing I'd seen or heard all night but hey, who are we to argue with this? All of this meant that the title was back in the mouth of the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in history, 'Bruiserweight' Pete Dunne who was in full bastard heel mode. This was solidified when he ripped the moustache off the face of Tyler Bate and threw it into the crowd with utter disdain and disrespect. If I was to pick my match of the night then this most certainly would be it. Both men used everything possible in their arsenal's to put the other away for the ATTACK! 24/7 Championship and Tyler looked to have put away Pete with the Tyler Driver '97 but referee Shay Purser seemed to stop mid count. But this wasn't Shay being his usual arrogant self, this was something else. Almost like Shay had either glitched or perhaps been paused. This wasn't fun... And with that, here comes the Anti-Fun Police! Chief Deputy Dunne, confined to a wheelchair after breaking a bone in his foot at Soundtrack to a Head Drop accompanied by Los Federales Santos Jr. made their way to ringside. Chief Deputy Dunne carried the Press Start Gamecube console on his lap and advised the fans in attendance as well as both Tyler and Pete that the Gamecube had been fixed but to his specifications. And with that, out came three members of the Anti-Fun Police that I can't say I recognised. For the sake of this blog, I'll call them PC Pride, PC Junior and PC Mod. Just three random names, of course. Police Constables Pride, Junior and Mod were ordered by Chief Deputy Dunne to arrest Tyler Bate, which they did dragging him to the back as Dunne warned us that ATTACK! Pro Wrestling would never be the same again! What does all of this mean? Why has the Chief done this? What's his motive? Let's hope all is answered soon as we roll on with the show! Tyler Bate vs Pete Dunne ends in a no-contest. Pete Dunne is still ATTACK! 24/7 Champion Tetris Tables Match - Boar & Bird vs Eddie Dennis and Nixon Newell Once again, I was kidnapped by those evil hooded men who seem to do this every time Nixon wrestles. Seriously, I can't even take a leak without this situation happening! This look alike once again sang along to B*Witched. This group of people are really doing a lot to ruin my reputation of being a miserable bastard! Thank God for the VOD, though! It was great to see Nixon returning from the WWE Performance Centre for one final match at ATTACK! Pro Wrestling. The team of Boar & Bird were at their absolute brutal and intense best here. Is there a more intense team in British wrestling right now? You'd be hard pressed to find one, let me assure you of that! They also proved a level of durability as well after Boar had been put through a table by Nixon, Bird showed how much of a wily, savvy veteran he is by going backstage to find an additional life meaning the match continued! A few minutes later, the team of Boar and Bird picked up the win after Bird scored with a Piledriver to Eddie Dennis through a table giving Boar and Bird more momentum as they chase down #CCK for the ATTACK! Pro Wrestling tag team titles. Another awesome match and definitely worth checking out on demand! Winners - Boar and Bird Love Making Demon vs Elijah This was another interesting match as these two have had a rivalry going on for a little while which hasn't really had much in ring time until now. Demon was at his absolute seediest, as he usually. He even went as far as planting a kiss on the lips of my mate Rikki! Pretty sure there was some tongue involved in there as well. Elijah was his usual angry, aggressive pissed off self. He seemed to have a new John Cena tattoo on his back as well. Of course, this gave the fans something to give him a bit of stick for. That didn't prevent him picking up the win though. It's fair to say that Elijah is one of the best young talents to come out of South Wales over the past few years. Let's hope he can take that talent to the top! Winner via pinfall - Elijah The Anti-Fun Police (PC Pride, PC Mod & PC Junior) vs Mark Andrews and The Brothers of Construction What the? The Brothers of Construction? Now I am confused. I thought they'd gone rogue on us and joined The Anti-Fun Police? What's going on? You'll find out all in good time, dear reader because first I have talk about this brawl. I can't really call it a wrestling match because this was an all out war between these six men as they battled all across the Cathays Bingo Hall. Of course, we had Chief Deputy Dunne and Los Federales Santos Jr. at ringside keeping a close eye on proceedings. The surprise was that it took them so long to get themselves involved in what was going on. After the Brothers of Construction hit a 3D, Mandrews went up to the top rope looking to score with that awesome Shooting Star Press of his but was stopped by Chief Deputy Dunne who threatened to destroy the Press Start Gamecube if Mandrews hit the move. He didn't and was arrested at the request of Dunne by PC's Mod, Junior and Pride. Dunne then ordered Santos to destroy the console but what he wasn't counting on was the intervention of the Brothers of Construction who were still at ringside. They managed to prevent any form of damage to the console by hitting Santos with a 3D and Lee then went backstage briefly and came back with the solution to the problem. To make sure ATTACK! was back to normal, the console needed to be reset. Personally, aside from The Brothers of Construction being there, I'm not sure what the issue was aside from Chief Deputy Dunne holding the power of the company in his hands. Either way, after the "ethical dilema" (best chant ever) which Jim and Lee faced after Chief Deputy Dunne warned them they'd be "no fun" again if they reset the console, they made the decision to fix things and closed the lid on the Gamecube with the reset disk inside the console. The whole place went crazy again, as it did in Bristol a couple of weeks prior. When the craziness stopped, the familiar sound of Andrew W.K's Party Hard hit and out came FSU and 'Flash' Morgan Webster. As they were dancing, singing and having FUN with the fans, they turned around to find the Brothers of Construction and Los Federales Santos Jr. poised to strike with helmets and a wet floor sign. The fan favourites dodged the attack and hit superkicks to the three members of the Anti-Fun Police. Webster took all three men out with a top rope Senton and moments later Eddie and Mark scored with the assisted Next Stop Driver to James Obstruction. Shay ran out and refused to count to three which brought out Chris Roberts who hit Shay with a Stone Cold Stunner. Mandrews then hit James with the Shooting Star Press for the win. Winners - FSU and 'Flash' Morgan Webster They weren't done there either. Eddie took out Santos Jr. with a big forearm seconds before both members of FSU and Morgan Webster superkicked Chief Deputy Dunne out of his wheelchair. A few members of the ATTACK! roster came out to celebrate with the winners of the match whilst Sergeant Banks came from the back to help Chief Deputy Dunne back into his chair and to console his injured leader. While all of this was going on, Jim Lee made an appearance which was nice to see. Don't get me wrong, we all love seeing Jaida "Sexy Jim" Roberts but we love Jim just as much. Now, in case you aren't aware, there was a huge twist to this entire show. I'm not going to explain it to you here because I strongly urge you to check out the VOD on Vimeo at the cost of just £5.99. I can honestly say that I have never had so much FUNAHHHH at a show in my entire life as I had at Press Start 5. The concept of the show was incredible and the matches were brilliant. A huge credit to everyone involved from the wrestlers to the staff, the referees, the fans literally everybody deserves credit for how incredible this show was. I watch a hell of a lot of wrestling from all different countries and I'd say that this was the best show that any promotion has put out anywhere in the world so far in 2017. As I said, make sure you get onto Vimeo to purchase this incredible event that the whole country has been talking about! |
Kyle James Archives
December 2017
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