Another good ol' BritWres away day. These have become more and more frequent for me this year but I'm generally finding that these shows mean a heck of a lot more to me. Especially this one because not only was the show absolutely brilliant, but the friends I went with helped to make that day as great as it was.
After finishing work at 1200hrs, I got home, grabbed a bite to eat and a quick shower before meeting up with my mates Tom, Henry and Craig. We set off for Cardiff, speculating how this show would work after what happened at the end of Soundtrack to a Head Drop where Los Federales Santos Jr. destroyed the Press Start console. It certainly made for an interesting car journey in amongst the pop-punk playlist which Craig had on as well as talking about all other things wrestling. We met with our friends Rikki and Tyley at the Woodville pub, just down the road from Cathays Community Centre, and after a bite to eat and moving the cars (which were in a time restricted parking area) we headed into the venue to wait for the show. Granted, we got inside about an hour or so before the doors were due to open so amused ourselves with conversation and after a while an apparent game of "Quidditch". I can neither confirm, nor deny, if this was indeed Quidditch. All I know is that somebody found a hollow plastic ball and two pool table triangles and we attempted to throw said ball through the triangles. The doors opened at 1900hrs and in we went to find a seat. How the show would be started to make a small amount of sense with the ATTACK! staff wearing their t-shirts backwards, someone laying across one of the top turnbuckles, somebody walking against a ring post and Justin Sysum apparently thinking that he was a part of some sort of Call of Duty style video game as he was running around as if he were holding a gun. And while all of this is going on, some of the chairs were either stacked on top of others or facing the wrong way along with the 8-bit Christmas songs that were playing over the sound system. And people wonder why I'm always urging wrestling fans to check out ATTACK! Pro Wrestling? The show started on time and out came Jaida Roberts to welcome us all to ATTACK! Pro Wrestling Press Start 5 and introduced our first match which was for the ATTACK! Pro Wrestling tag team championships. ATTACK! Pro Wrestling Tag Team Champions #CCK (Chris Brookes & Mondai Lykos) vs Bowl-A-Rama (Splits McPins and Lloyd Katt) The challengers were out first in all of their bowling glory for this rematch from My Sacrifice, soon followed by the champions. Something seemed a bit off but the only thing I could think was that Lykos wasn't wearing his Power Rangers esque attire. I'm pretty sure everything else was totally normal and this match was the perfect way to kick off Press Start 5 with both teams hitting their usual spots but the biggest shock of all was Mondai Lykos hitting not one but TWO brainbusters! Yes, you read that right, the man who's hit as many brainbusters as Ric Flair has scored with top rope moves hit two in this match! The second of which won the match for #CCK meaning they retained their ATTACK! Pro Wrestling Tag Team Championships. Winners via pinfall - #CCK (Chris Brookes and Mondai Lykos) SabDrew vs SandDrew vs The Drew Meanie vs Sting (WCW Drew) OK, now things were totally and utterly normal, right? Three ECW originals and the WCW legend Sting battling it out in an ATTACK! Pro Wrestling ring. As I'm sure you can imagine there were lots of chair shots, lots of splashes and carnage all over the Cathays Bingo Hall (or as I like to call it, the ATTACK! Arena). This was a fun match which didn't last too long. It all ended after The Drew Meanie and SandDrew started a rendition of "Oops Upside Your Head" which SabDrew joined in with. The crowd urged WCW Drew to join in as well, however instead locked all three men into a Scorpion Death Lock to pick up the win. Winner via submission - WCW Drew ATTACK! Pro Wrestling 24/7 Championship - Pete Dunne vs Tyler Bate Prior to this match starting, Jaida Roberts announced that the ATTACK! Pro Wrestling 24/7 Championship did indeed change hands at NXT TakeOver: Chicago as Paul Levesque is an ATTACK! Pro Wrestling official. Probably the weirdest thing I'd seen or heard all night but hey, who are we to argue with this? All of this meant that the title was back in the mouth of the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in history, 'Bruiserweight' Pete Dunne who was in full bastard heel mode. This was solidified when he ripped the moustache off the face of Tyler Bate and threw it into the crowd with utter disdain and disrespect. If I was to pick my match of the night then this most certainly would be it. Both men used everything possible in their arsenal's to put the other away for the ATTACK! 24/7 Championship and Tyler looked to have put away Pete with the Tyler Driver '97 but referee Shay Purser seemed to stop mid count. But this wasn't Shay being his usual arrogant self, this was something else. Almost like Shay had either glitched or perhaps been paused. This wasn't fun... And with that, here comes the Anti-Fun Police! Chief Deputy Dunne, confined to a wheelchair after breaking a bone in his foot at Soundtrack to a Head Drop accompanied by Los Federales Santos Jr. made their way to ringside. Chief Deputy Dunne carried the Press Start Gamecube console on his lap and advised the fans in attendance as well as both Tyler and Pete that the Gamecube had been fixed but to his specifications. And with that, out came three members of the Anti-Fun Police that I can't say I recognised. For the sake of this blog, I'll call them PC Pride, PC Junior and PC Mod. Just three random names, of course. Police Constables Pride, Junior and Mod were ordered by Chief Deputy Dunne to arrest Tyler Bate, which they did dragging him to the back as Dunne warned us that ATTACK! Pro Wrestling would never be the same again! What does all of this mean? Why has the Chief done this? What's his motive? Let's hope all is answered soon as we roll on with the show! Tyler Bate vs Pete Dunne ends in a no-contest. Pete Dunne is still ATTACK! 24/7 Champion Tetris Tables Match - Boar & Bird vs Eddie Dennis and Nixon Newell Once again, I was kidnapped by those evil hooded men who seem to do this every time Nixon wrestles. Seriously, I can't even take a leak without this situation happening! This look alike once again sang along to B*Witched. This group of people are really doing a lot to ruin my reputation of being a miserable bastard! Thank God for the VOD, though! It was great to see Nixon returning from the WWE Performance Centre for one final match at ATTACK! Pro Wrestling. The team of Boar & Bird were at their absolute brutal and intense best here. Is there a more intense team in British wrestling right now? You'd be hard pressed to find one, let me assure you of that! They also proved a level of durability as well after Boar had been put through a table by Nixon, Bird showed how much of a wily, savvy veteran he is by going backstage to find an additional life meaning the match continued! A few minutes later, the team of Boar and Bird picked up the win after Bird scored with a Piledriver to Eddie Dennis through a table giving Boar and Bird more momentum as they chase down #CCK for the ATTACK! Pro Wrestling tag team titles. Another awesome match and definitely worth checking out on demand! Winners - Boar and Bird Love Making Demon vs Elijah This was another interesting match as these two have had a rivalry going on for a little while which hasn't really had much in ring time until now. Demon was at his absolute seediest, as he usually. He even went as far as planting a kiss on the lips of my mate Rikki! Pretty sure there was some tongue involved in there as well. Elijah was his usual angry, aggressive pissed off self. He seemed to have a new John Cena tattoo on his back as well. Of course, this gave the fans something to give him a bit of stick for. That didn't prevent him picking up the win though. It's fair to say that Elijah is one of the best young talents to come out of South Wales over the past few years. Let's hope he can take that talent to the top! Winner via pinfall - Elijah The Anti-Fun Police (PC Pride, PC Mod & PC Junior) vs Mark Andrews and The Brothers of Construction What the? The Brothers of Construction? Now I am confused. I thought they'd gone rogue on us and joined The Anti-Fun Police? What's going on? You'll find out all in good time, dear reader because first I have talk about this brawl. I can't really call it a wrestling match because this was an all out war between these six men as they battled all across the Cathays Bingo Hall. Of course, we had Chief Deputy Dunne and Los Federales Santos Jr. at ringside keeping a close eye on proceedings. The surprise was that it took them so long to get themselves involved in what was going on. After the Brothers of Construction hit a 3D, Mandrews went up to the top rope looking to score with that awesome Shooting Star Press of his but was stopped by Chief Deputy Dunne who threatened to destroy the Press Start Gamecube if Mandrews hit the move. He didn't and was arrested at the request of Dunne by PC's Mod, Junior and Pride. Dunne then ordered Santos to destroy the console but what he wasn't counting on was the intervention of the Brothers of Construction who were still at ringside. They managed to prevent any form of damage to the console by hitting Santos with a 3D and Lee then went backstage briefly and came back with the solution to the problem. To make sure ATTACK! was back to normal, the console needed to be reset. Personally, aside from The Brothers of Construction being there, I'm not sure what the issue was aside from Chief Deputy Dunne holding the power of the company in his hands. Either way, after the "ethical dilema" (best chant ever) which Jim and Lee faced after Chief Deputy Dunne warned them they'd be "no fun" again if they reset the console, they made the decision to fix things and closed the lid on the Gamecube with the reset disk inside the console. The whole place went crazy again, as it did in Bristol a couple of weeks prior. When the craziness stopped, the familiar sound of Andrew W.K's Party Hard hit and out came FSU and 'Flash' Morgan Webster. As they were dancing, singing and having FUN with the fans, they turned around to find the Brothers of Construction and Los Federales Santos Jr. poised to strike with helmets and a wet floor sign. The fan favourites dodged the attack and hit superkicks to the three members of the Anti-Fun Police. Webster took all three men out with a top rope Senton and moments later Eddie and Mark scored with the assisted Next Stop Driver to James Obstruction. Shay ran out and refused to count to three which brought out Chris Roberts who hit Shay with a Stone Cold Stunner. Mandrews then hit James with the Shooting Star Press for the win. Winners - FSU and 'Flash' Morgan Webster They weren't done there either. Eddie took out Santos Jr. with a big forearm seconds before both members of FSU and Morgan Webster superkicked Chief Deputy Dunne out of his wheelchair. A few members of the ATTACK! roster came out to celebrate with the winners of the match whilst Sergeant Banks came from the back to help Chief Deputy Dunne back into his chair and to console his injured leader. While all of this was going on, Jim Lee made an appearance which was nice to see. Don't get me wrong, we all love seeing Jaida "Sexy Jim" Roberts but we love Jim just as much. Now, in case you aren't aware, there was a huge twist to this entire show. I'm not going to explain it to you here because I strongly urge you to check out the VOD on Vimeo at the cost of just £5.99. I can honestly say that I have never had so much FUNAHHHH at a show in my entire life as I had at Press Start 5. The concept of the show was incredible and the matches were brilliant. A huge credit to everyone involved from the wrestlers to the staff, the referees, the fans literally everybody deserves credit for how incredible this show was. I watch a hell of a lot of wrestling from all different countries and I'd say that this was the best show that any promotion has put out anywhere in the world so far in 2017. As I said, make sure you get onto Vimeo to purchase this incredible event that the whole country has been talking about!
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